Dads
How
some Sure Start centres are involving fathers in their
child’s development
Devante (3) and
Carline (2) run up to their father Carl Lauder. Happy and
excited, they punt footballs through puddles in the
playground to coaches from Tottenham Hotspur Football Club.
Fiona McCritchie, manager of Broadwater Farm’s Children’s
Centre, smiles. “It’s really hard involving fathers. But I
think this Football Champions project will grow and grow.”
Official
background
There is a
national push to involve fathers in children’s lives. The
National Strategy Framework (NSF) in 2003 and last year’s
government spending commitments in the Aiming high
for children: supporting families document
promised extra support for programmes helping resident and
non-resident dads play their critical role in children’s
development in 2008-11.
A culture shift
But as Fiona
and many other early years workers know, that is no easy
task. Says Roger Olley, director of Children North East
Fathers Plus: “It requires a culture shift, not just to get
fathers involved in the system but to get the system to
accept them.” Early years workers are mostly women;
children’s centres tend to feel feminine. Domestic violence
and child abuse are high on the list of concerns. “Our
culture takes a grimy view of men,” he says. “They know if
they go into an environment with lots of children – or
women -- they will be viewed with suspicion.”
Most men are not violent abusers. Children North East
Fathers Plus has been working with fathers in families for
10 years. It has just trained all resident and visiting
staff in children’s centres in County Durham and Leeds. An
Every Dad Matters day celebrated fatherhood, children and
childhood at a railway museum. More than 8,000 people came,
half male.
“I throw out a challenge,” says Roger. “Tell me about the
services that children’s centres run for pregnant men. Not
in terms of supporting their partner, but in terms of the
men’s own needs. We know that if men are not involved,
breastfeeding does not prosper. That domestic violence
often begins in early pregnancy. And children need their
fathers’ interest.”
Activities and attitudes
Strategies
vary. Fenchurch Street centre in Hull helped a young Iraqi
man learn to care for his baby daughter and learn English
at the same time. At Ockenden in Thurrock a male centre
manager canvassed male opinion. Throwing out pink flowery
wallpaper, courses in debt counselling and IT, a Dads’ mag,
a Heroes week in fishing and recycling and contact via text
message changed men’s perceptions of the centre from white
elephant to vital resource. Now 50 per cent of adult users
are male.
At Broadwater Farm, Fiona is conscious that one-off
activity days of art, sport, craft or trips are not an
answer in themselves. More important, perhaps, is the
centre’s interactive Job Point, the most heavily used in
the South of England. As Bryan Hutton, father worker with
the London borough of Enfield since 2004 says, “You have to
understand fathers’ needs.”
Family Champions, put on by the local Parents as Partners
in Early Learning (PPEL) adviser in tandem with Spurs,
focuses on fathers’ needs. Saturday morning sports
workshops are tied to training possibilities, healthy
living information and IT training. The Spurs brand confers
high status; it highlights fathers interacting with
children; and it is sheer, physical fun. “Word is going to
spread,” says Fiona happily.
How
centres help
“Advertising is
useless. It’s all word of mouth,” says Julie Grinstead, who
runs St John's Little Learners Nursery in rural
Cambridgeshire. A free “Men behaving dadly” group has
occupied the centre every Saturday morning for two and a
half years. It was slow to get going. “The male species
is,” says Julie, “a difficult one to unravel.” Now, though,
trust has been created in the eight fathers and 12 children
in the group. Real problems are aired: Julie helps fathers
with tantrums over sharing play-doh, violent throwing,
pushing. Fathers sign up to healthy eating and parenting
courses. Now men advise each other over sleepless nights
and sibling jealousy.
Other successful fathers’ projects use a self-help model.
Barrow Dads in Cumbria has grown in six years to encompass
six groups and 100 families in several children’s centres.
Dave Heseltine began as a dad, then threw up his job in a
factory to work as activities co-ordinator and teenage
fathers’ key worker. Again, though Barrow Dads regularly
hire two coaches on their trips to Blackpool and Liverpool
football ground, regular meetings where men share
experiences are more important than one-off activities.
“Fathers think they should be able to cope on their own,”
says Dave. “But it gives you confidence to do things
together.” Cooking, remote-control racing cars and
kickabouts weekly cement relationships.
Says Roger Olley: “Ultimately, it’s not about working with
guys, it’s about helping children.”
Teen
fathers
Bryan
Hutton also works with teenage fathers. “There are so many
pressures,” he says, “from parents, maternal parents,
social services. They can get pushed aside and move off,
even if they don’t want to.” Anger management, custody and
housing are common problems; Bryan provides drop-in
sessions for advice, where pool, playstation and magazines
are on offer. “They wish there was more
support.”
Putting fathers at the centre pays off. Making greetings
cards with toddlers, playing party games, fathers say they
are amazed and delighted to see how important they are to
their children. Julie agrees. “At Little Learners, Dads can
enjoy playing plus they feel more valued as parents because
the children go to them.” Adds Fiona, “It’s hard for dads
to know how to be with their children.” (131 words: can be
cut)
Fathers
and children
At 43,
ex-electrician Carl is bringing his children up by himself.
“It’s tough, real tough. The Children’s centre is the best
thing ever. They’re there for me and a problem aired is a
problem shared.”
Some things can’t be healed. “What really hurts is when
their mum visits once a week and she gets up to go and they
put their coats on and I know they’re going to cry. I don’t
want them to feel that pain.”
(870 words, excluding italics para)
Contacts
Young fathers
projects
http://www.youngfathers.net/contacts/service_providers.htm
Fathers Direct: advice, resources and Fatherhood Quality
Mark
www.fatherhoodinstitute.org
Children North East, Fathers Plus
http://www.workingwithfathers.com/
www.includingmen.com
Parents as Partners in Early Learning
foundationstage@capita.co.uk.
Barrow Dads
www.reaching-out.org.uk/reaching/media/barrow_sure_start.ppt
Every Child Matters in children’s centres
http://www.everychildmatters.gov.uk/earlyyears/surestart/centres/
National Standards Framework
http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/Publicationsandstatistics/index.htm
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